Can You Survive The Most Ridiculous Game Tutorial Ever?

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1Step 1: 'Press Jump 14 times while crouching to unlock walking.' You:

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2An unskippable guide sprite hands you a wooden spoon for combat. Your move?

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3The tutorial demands: 'Rotate your camera 720 degrees to prove you have eyes.' You:

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4You must sneak past a sleeping giant snail without making any noise. What's the plan?

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5Final Test: The NPC asks: 'Did you understand all of that?' What do you press?

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